How to Be an Email Spammer

There are three things every email marketer wants to achieve:

• They want their message to be delivered
• They want to establish a relationship of trust with their mailing list
• They want their emails to be read

But, if you want to become known as an email spammer that won’t be important to you. You won’t care about your recipient. You’ll go out of your way to send annoying emails. You will want them to unsubscribe from or block your messages.

To help you become a spammer extraordinaire, just follow these tips:

1. Never use a real name

Don’t you just hate it when you get emails from real people? Wouldn’t it be better to conceal your true identity?

Who cares if your email shows it’s come from Sally Ormond or Briar Copywriting? It would be much better to use something like ‘Bulk’, ‘List’, ‘Blank’. The recipient will never guess it’s a spam email with a senders name like that.

2. Make sure your subject line rings alarm bells

Subject lines that make sense are so boring. It’s much better to use something nonsensical – Brodie tell freelancecopywriter.com – fab! That tells the reader absolutely nothing. Of course, if you really want to get their attention THERE’S NO BETTER WAY THAN USING CAPITAL LETTERS!!!

3. Don’t send it to real people

Do you really want to spend time making sure you have a real person’s name in your recipient’s email address? Of course not. Just sent them out to generic addresses. Yes, some might get stuck in spam filters but there’ll be some that get through.

4. Use catch phrases where possible

Why waste your time trying to come up with a strong subject line that is informative and eye catching? Go with the good old ‘free’, ‘cheap’, ‘GUARANTEED’, ‘no obligation’. It’s not as if your recipients are going to be bright enough to work out we only use those words to make them open our emails.

5. Don’t worry about the quality of your copy

People always bang on about making sure you proofread everything. What’s the harm in the odd spelling mistake, punctuation balls-up or grammatical error? They’ll be so busy they won’t even notice.

6. Don’t get cocky

If you’re confident in your writing you’ll make your reader think you know what you’re taking about.

Keep it vague. Use words like ‘I was wondering’, ‘perhaps you could’ – I mean, it’s not as if we want the reader to take action is it?

7. Send it to anyone

I’m not into all this sending information only to those who are interested. How do you know if someone is interested or not? I mean, it’s like those emails you get from SEO companies. It’s not like they’ve got time to check to see if the company they’re mailing out to is on the front page of Google or not is it? OK, so the copywriter we emailed was on the front page for the term ‘copywriter’ but I bet there are some terms they’re not on the front page for. That’s why it’s important to be vague in your email – specifics will only cause problems.

Why do you need to know this?

If you want to become known as a spammer, these 7 tips will help you.

But if you want to avoid that particular tag, remember:

• always use a real name in the sender field
• ensure your subject lines make sense, are informative and don’t use capital letters
• send your emails to a real address including a persons name
• avoid catch phrases and words like ‘free’ ‘cheap’ ‘GUARANTEED’
• make sure you proofread before sending out your email
• write with confidence, if you want your reader to take action, tell them
• make sure your email only goes to those who would be interested/or would benefit from your product/service